I was delighted recently, when doing some research via an Astrology site, that not only could my gay or lesbian friends (does their sexuality actually matter?  I mean - really?!) get a concise prediction of their week ahead, but so could my cat or dog.  Phew. What a relief.  And I thought they’d been missing out all these years.  I was offered Daily, Weekly or Monthly stars, and either furry friend too was offered Daily Cat or Daily Dog.  Liking all things to be as equal as possible in every aspect of life, I was then plunged into melancholy mire when I realised that rabbits, guinea pigs, gerbils and any other pet you could mention were not deemed important enough to be offered astrological counseling.   Or maybe that was just on this particular site.  Perhaps there are other Horoscopes - or Scopes as the on-trend refer to them these days - out there, freely gifting advice to anacondas, spiders, rats, mice, cockatoos and donkeys, helping them get through their week.  Because they can all read, and have access to a computer, right? After all, there’re no water-cooler meet-ups for them to discuss the astrological influences of the next seven days - just a same old wheel and chewed up loo-roll tube for the gerbils and a muddy field and some straw for the donkeys.  So what’s the point, you’re probably thinking, to these ramblings... Well, my point is - Who Writes This Stuff?! Although perhaps the question should be - Why write this stuff?  But then you could say that about anything.  Why Write Anything.

Because writers have to, don’t we.  You know we do.  It’s in our DNA.  I read a ridiculous item - Cat Astrology for goodness sake - and here I am writing about it.  Human nature.  Just like gossiping - although psychologists tell us we don’t ‘gossip’, we ‘pass on information.’ How true.  The weekly outlook for Cat is pretty good, by the way, in case you’re wondering. Take time to relax and get together with friends.  You’ll feel better for it.  Well, better put the Nip away then and bar access to the bed, as I don’t want a gamut of other people’s felines relaxing all over my bed and having a furry chin-wag with each other, to include all the hissing and spitting that could ensue once the niceties are over.  I feel perhaps I am almost qualified myself to write Cat or Dog Daily Astrology as I seem to have taken such tosh to heart.  But Wowza - what an idea for a story!  And so, here they are...

My Top Five Most Unlikely Ideas For A Story 

1. Make the goody the actual baddy - case in point the first series of Broadchurch.  Never saw that one coming, did ya!

2.  Use a parallel universe as per the film Sliding Doors, or these ideas from writer and blogger Rob Schwarz (from his website Stranger Dimensions)

3. See if you can really get away with it All Being Just A Dream… ahemm... Mr Lewis Carroll

4. Be totally ridiculous.  Not that I’m dissing Cat Horoscope you understand, but if the phrase ‘It’ll never work - but - this might just do it’ means anything to you, then have a look here.  Had a couple of goes with this - I just couldn’t help myself! but it did generate some ludicrous ideas... You Gotta Be Kidding.. right? 

5. And last but not least, always a good idea for a bit of light reading - the story of savage dictatorship and the suppression and corruption of an entire country.  Those are the sort of feel-good factors you should aspire to when looking for an unlikely idea for a story.. and ones which author Patrick McGuiness hones perfectly in his book The Last Hundred Days.  If you haven’t read it, do. The Last Hundred Days.


Beats cat horoscope paws down.